search for giant squid
an expedition into the last frontier
"Giant squid (Architeuthis) are the largest invertebrates on Earth, reaching lengths of 20 m, and are one of the biggest predators surviving in the deep sea. But if they are so big, why don't we know more about giant squid? Since they are so deep, how do we know anything at all?"
quonsar at 11:34 pm
utilitarian kilts. progressive kilts.
and above all, manly kilts. though some may not quite pull it off.
quonsar at 4:40 pm
spectators are always welcome
"The special balls used to play the game are available to be borrowed from the club, and new members normally use the club's balls until they decide to purchase a set of their own."
quonsar at 4:23 pm
an online tutorial
"Welcome to FindTheGSpot.com where your challenge will be to find my G-Spot. Make the right moves and I will be nice, poke around in the wrong places and I will get mad."
contains explicit graphic anatomical images. consider yourself warned. complain and i will get mad.
quonsar at 2:42 pm
how safe is your neighborhood?
quonsar is in great shape here. only one superfund site, two solid waste landfills, and 25 leaking underground storage tanks.
shelldrake at 3:48 pm
file under: computer science, abstract
"The probability of confusion is a negative exponential function of the distance between the pair of items."
in which case, the writer and i are clearly separated by vast amounts of space.
quonsar at 3:21 pm
from 'divine interventions'
"When you woke up this morning you knew that something was missing in your life. It wasn't the new car, the new job, the boyfriend, or the girlfriend. But now you know. It's the Baby Jesus Butt Plug."
quonsar at 2:14 pm
texas dept of criminal justice
compassionate information, conservatively provided.
quonsar at 12:28 pm
born as conjoined quintuplets
"Scientists have theorized that this arrangement, much like pack behavior in other species, serves as a natural protection against predators. As evidence, note that Peeps are most often consumed by predators only after they have been separated from their siblings. Conversely, Peeps which remain attached to their siblings are rarely preyed upon."
quonsar at 10:57 pm
'unlawful, incestuous relationship with mothers that leads to moral decay'
"Women who breast-feed enjoy an erotic experience that offensively imposes oral gratification on innocent infants. This reprehensible act teaches children illicit sex that subsequently manifests promiscuity, homosexuality and addiction to cybersex."
quonsar at 9:43 pm
the passion for coughing women
"Intended for anyone who would regard hearing or watching a woman cough as something fascinating, appealing and maybe even erotic."
quonsar at 7:37 pm
for amputees, devotees, and wannabes
"Also amputees need love and understanding."
psst! wanna touch my stump?
quonsar at 7:30 pm
just which isn't a filing change, is healthy for the chili range
"an anagram enhanced, it's shepherded off the field as delicately as a snake hive off a kookaburra on a hot autumn night."
quonsar at 6:33 pm
enough cack! get with the praxis.
"Elks smiled and sheepdogs belly-ached as I (whilst dancing up Kansas in a roadblock task suit) divined sobriety. 'Oh no, oh no!' I cried, 'I'm being inflected by the rhythms of my past!'"
quonsar at 6:26 pm
the hidden brain damage scale
predicting a preference for pimento loaf
"Of the many psychometric devices designed to measure the dimensions of human variation, the Hidden Brain Damage Scale stands alone... Although a true-false format is recommended, we have found that many test-takers opt for the response of getting tangled up in the drapery."
quonsar at 11:30 pm
ultratech products inc.
"Finally there is a solution -- the Flatulence Filter, a super-activated carbon/foam filter concealed in a simple chair cushion."
quonsar at 11:01 pm
a better society through better names for children
"Parents who choose names poorly create misleading labels for their children. These labels can cause their children to be mocked, stereotyped, or ostracized. Mocked, stereotyped, and ostracized children grow to become demented adults."
quonsar at 10:42 pm
a comminus venio veritas
"RPS has captivated the minds, and hands, of generations of decision-makers across the world. Whether you are a budding novice or a seasoned veteran, this is the page for you."
quonsar at 10:35 pm
the cutting edge of modern american suburban living
quonsar at 10:32 pm
determining the effects of extreme atmospheric conditions on m&m's
shelldrake at 10:12 pm